This Is Gonna Hurt.

I know you've probably heard a billion other somewhat-christian books out there telling young women that "You're beautiful! Embrace your inner loveliness! Be the person you were created to be!" blah blah blah ect. But let me tell you flat out - that's not what I'm going to reiterate to you. I believe that messages like that are flawed and deceitful.

I'm here to tell you something that might hurt ... It hurt me, at first.
In and of ourselves, we are completely and utterly worthless.
To put it in other words, your ego is not your amigo. :P (Right, Mrs. Montoya??)

Understandably, this message is not very well received in our culture. Us ladies all like to feel like we have purpose, beauty, and uniqueness, deep down inside our lovely little selves. Yes? Yes. Admit it.


Scripture tells us that such a mindset is completely wrong. Without Christ, we are completely devoid of beauty - because He IS beauty. With Christ - yes, we have beauty - but it's not ours.

In fact, if you're a Christian, then everything that's yours is Christs. Ian Thomas puts it this way: "The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you - your personality, your will power, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything - then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it."

The most beautiful picture of Christ making us girls beautiful is found in Ezekiel 16, where Jerusalem is being described in terms of "her" relationship with her husband, God himself.

"On the day of your birth, your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, and you were cast out into the open field - for you were abhorred, on that day when you were born."

That's a nicer way of saying, "Aaaand .... as for the day of your birth, well. You were a pretty gross little thing . . ."

"But when I passed by you, and saw you wallowing in your own blood (EW!), I said "Live!" I made you flourish like a plant of the field. . . . I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and and earings in your ears and a crown on your head.

". . . So I saw this ugly baby and I was like, hey! The poor thing! I should do something about that. . . so I took it home with me."

... You were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty.

"Growing up, I gave you designer clothes and really yummy food. You had the best of everything. People thought you were royalty because you looked so pretty. uh huh."

And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord God."

.....
I'm not even sure this one needs an interpretation. I'll just say this: Megan Fox, biblical version.

So. Now that we've read that little story, we know that before we knew Christ, we were hopeless.
To those people out there who keep telling you how beautiful you are deep deep inside: Does wallowing in your own blood sound beautiful to you? Maybe our culture's standards of beauty aren't that high, after all. Yuck. The point is that we were born ugly. We were born sinful. Because of our Savior's love, he has raised us up as Princesses in His kingdom, to be true royalty.

I can truly say, I am beautiful. I am beautiful because of how Christ has transformed my ugly heart into something brand new. What security is found, in knowing that! I don't have to be worried about meeting a bunch of physical requirements (although. it is nice to try to look good. :P different topic for a different time . . . ) our culture puts on us.

"It is a tremendous freedom to get rid of all self-consideration and learn to care about only one thing - the relationship between Christ and ourselves." ~Oswald Chambers.

Amen!

It's so nice to know that I'm thought of as "beautiful" by the only one I really care about. Isn't it?!

~Lauren Lee

From the Universe to My Backyard

A huge explosion lit the sky. Magnetic forces started to form, and matter was brought together . . . I can only imagine what it must have truly been like. I've heard people wish they could've been there when the world was created . . . but, I don't! I would've been terrified. It was God's awesome power and inventiveness on display for all of heaven - I would've been paralyzed out of pure fear. I'm content to read from Genesis! Out of darkness, came light. Beautiful, wonderful light - in an instant. The creation story has been stereotyped and cliched, and nowadays people seem to simply pass it off. But when we really stop to think about it, WOW what an event! What a display of His majesty. I bet it was scary.

Creation, the beginning, the form for all that was to come, changes our view of everything. It certainly changes our view of God. It seems like nowadays we're always focused on ourselves. What can God do for us? He is suddenly turned into a genie who will have an exclusive relationship with our souls, for our benefit. The creation story, for me, is a slap in the face. Look at this world! Look at the power, the glory, the genius that went into this earth. He is to be feared.

Such power, glory, majesty . . . Why would he want anything to do with me?

I've always had a thing about stars. I've probably written about it here, on this blog, before. But I'm fascinated by them. It's no rare thing to find me in my backyard at night, with a blanket and a pillow - completely in awe of the wonders stretched above me. This is God's very own creation.

Every time, God breaks my heart.

Because I realize - He loves me, in His greatness, even when He has no reason to.

A couple of days ago, I couldn't get to sleep. That day had been hard for me - I snapped at my sister and my mom, my literature class which I usually love, brought me to the brink of tears - and I was desperately missing some close friends. Things going on in my life that I just ask "why", Lord? Why are you letting this happen to me? Haven't I gone through enough?? What good could there possibly be, in this?? I knew I needed an attitude adjustment . . . So I grabbed my blanket and headed outside. Mom and Tay were long asleep, along with the rest of the neighborhood. So I spread out in the backyard, and looked up at the sky.

Then, again, my heart broke.

Typical. ;)

I always "knew" it, but that night, this truth really hit me hard: He doesn't just have "something to do" with me . . . But he wants a relationship with me. He wants to be my Father. I am special to Him. It feels so good to be wanted, by the One who spoke everything into existence. Doesn't it? Looking up at the stars, I saw heaven proclaim the glory of God. And even though I'm so small, and this world is SO huge . . . He does care about me. He sees me looking up at his universe, right now . . .

That night overwhelmed me, because I felt God as both the majestic creator of the universe, and yet as my own, dear, loving father - at the same time. Yes, I sometimes wish I could have those special father-daughter moments with an earthly dad . . . something I've never had. But I had a special father-daughter moment that night :) I felt His presence, sitting next to me in my own backyard. He's awful good at making you feel loved.

He's a pretty good artist, too.

We have an amazing God, don't we?

"The heavens declare the glory of God, the sky proclaims the work of his hand." ~Psalm 19:1

~Lauren Lee

When All Else Fails

Hey everyone =) This week I was featured as a guest writer on "Meditations of His Love" .... It was a pleasure writing for them. I thought, hey, why not kill two birds with one stone ;) So I'm posting it on my blog as well.

Enjoy :)

When All Else Fails
By Lauren Lee

I don’t mean to start out depressing – usually I am quite an optimistic person! But optimism doesn’t necessarily disregard reality . . . and reality, unfortunately, is that our world is corrupt. Abandonment. Bitterness. Selfishness. Pride. Deceitfulness. Neglect, lies, anger, abuse, fear! The list could go on and on and on. As a result of sin, each and every man, woman, and child grow in wretchedness and iniquity, apart from Christ. What is the result?

Everyone in this world will fail one time or another.

Failure comes in all forms. Friends will stab each another in the back for sake of self-preservation, complacency will deter personal success, self-service will give way to unimaginable immorality, and greed will lead people to steal. These are just few examples of failures, but worse - all of these, are sins.

Man will always sin. It is an inevitable consequence of that rather unfortunate Eden episode (you just HAD to take a bite of the apple, didn’t you Adam)! In this life, we will always have times of upset, letdowns, and disappointment. How do we get away from it all?!

Lately, I have been so inspired by reading and studying the names of God. One that caught my particular attention was Abba Avinu or Abba, our Father. Wow – the Creator of the world, mighty beyond description, is also . . . my father.

"We have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!" (Hebrews 12:9)

Think about your own relationship with your earthly father. Has it been marred by selfishness or abuse? Have you been betrayed, by one commissioned to protect? I personally know this feeling, since I don’t have a Dad in my life. It’s empty – a space that, for a long time, I felt could never be filled. He failed me.
Or, perhaps you have an unbreakable bond with your father, one that assures you will never be alone or unloved. What joy and peace you must have, my sister in Christ! That relationship of trust and love is reflective of our status as children of God: "For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name." (Ephesians 3:14)

Psalm 58:2: “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's UNFAILING love for ever and ever.” There it is, folks! The entire point of this post summed up in a single verse (isn’t it awesome how the Bible can do that?!) God’s love NEVER fails! Imagine having eternal patience and kindness – never worrying harboring envy, never boasting, always humble – never seeking for self, never getting angry, never holding a grudge, always despising evil, always rejoicing in truth, always protecting, trusting, hoping, and persevering. With a love that never fails. Imagine living THAT. Having perfect 1 Corinthians 13 love. It blows my mind! But yet, our Father, Abba Avinu, is all that and more.

When people fail us . . . When we don’t know where to turn . . . our Father welcomes us with open arms, because he is unfailing. No matter what, he is steadfast, and will NEVER leave, never abandon, never neglect His daughters.

Abba Avinu, my Father, you are worthy of ALL praise. You have perfect love, even when all else fails.

~Lauren Lee

A thousand times I’ve failed

Still your mercy remains

Should I stumble again

Still I’m caught in your grace

In my heart, in my soul

I give you control

Consume me from the inside out

Let justice and praise

Become my embrace

To love you from the inside out

Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself

In bringing you praise

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

Everlasting

Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending

Your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart

Is to bring you praise

From the inside out of my soul

Lord my soul cries out

Impressing God - Part 2

Just Because We Don't Have To Impress Him, Doesn't Mean We Shouldn't Praise Him!

My last post was talking about how as children of God, we don't need to be concerned with "impressing" Him in order that we might be acceptable in His sight. However. That doesn't exclude our efforts to please Him. That is what I'd like to focus this post on. Now that we know we "can't" impress Him, what can we do to please Him?

A father loves his son as a baby, even when that baby can't do anything for him. But as the child grows, the father expects that his son will excecute certain actions out of maturity and love. While the actions of the child don't "earn" his fathers love, it is something that is required of him. Similarly, our Father loved us when we were worthless, but now having accepted Christ, we have grown to a place of maturity and He expects us to keep his commandments. God doesn't just want us to throw up our hands, say "well, Jesus loves me, so I'm all good! I don't have to do anything." He loves us, knowing that we don't have what it takes to get to heaven on our own. But He expects that we do our best in the strength of Christ - because we love Him.

My pastor spoke on this on Sunday. Here are five sacrifices we can make, to please our heavenly Father:

1. We can offer our entire lives.

Romans 12:1 says, "I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

Usually, in the old testiment, an animals was killed first, before offered as a sacrifice. Why? Well . . . try keeping a live bull on the alter while the flames arose. He'd simply jump right off! However, now under the new covenant, we are living sacrifices. Lets not jump off that alter . . . but give all of ourselves to Him who made us.

2. We can offer praise.

Hebrews 13:15: "Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that gives thanks to His name."

After creating us (even with the knowledge of sin), killing His son for us, and continuing to have mercy on a fallen and perverse world, don't you think He deserves praise? What an awesome God! If our purpose on this earth is to bring God glory . . . . then this is one of the biggest ways that we ourselves can glorify Him. With thanksgiving!

3. We can offer up doing good and sharing.

Hebrews 13:16: "And do not neglect doing good and sharing, for with such sacrifices, God is pleased."

As the body of Christ, we are the physical manifestation of the compassion and love of Christ. This should be shown through our empathy and giving, to others. It is a sacrifice on our part? Yes. Don't jump off that alter. ;)

4. We can offer self-sacrifice.

Philipians 2:17: "But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all."

The Christian walk is sacrificial. At times, it hurts . . . because after all, we're not living for ourselves. Our desires, our comforts, will be stripped away. Will we still be willing to sacrifice even more of ourselves, for Him?

5. We can offer material resources to meet a need.

Philipians 4:18: "I have received everything in full and have an abundance; I am amply supplied, having recieved from Epaphroditus what you have sent, a fragrant aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well pleasing to God."

Remember, the Philipians could barely feed their own families. And yet, they saw the work of the Lord as SO important, that they provided Paul with everything he needed. This selflessness truly pleased God!

Being acceptable to a father, is always something a child yearns for. But we're already accepted, through the blood of Christ:

Galations 2:20 - "it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."

Now that He has accepted sinners, for no reason besides His infinite love, it's time to give back to Him.

~Lauren Lee

Impressing God

There's nothing in the world that quite compares to impressing your father. And there's nothing the world, that quite compares to disappointing him. Before Dad left, it seemed to be vital to my existance that I impressed him. If I didn't, I felt like I didn't have his love.

So, I buried my head in my textbooks, determaned to make straight As. All in hope - that when I announced "100%!!!" on my exam, he would love me.

I worked hard on my speeches, so that when he took me to debate club, he could be proud to say, "that's my daughter."

I joined the Inland Valley Orchestra at the young age of 13, so that when he saw me up there with all the other adult musicians, he would be impressed.

I did Ballet at the studio 6 days a week for hours each day, year after year, desperately attempting to earn his affection. But it never worked . . . and I didn't understand. I worked so hard for him, and yet I still felt the pain of disapproval whenever I failed. He just . . . Didn't love me. Although I understand now, in hindsight, that he is a lost man who cannot love until he finds redemption in Christ - my young spirit couldn't comprehend it. I suffered, deeply.

How relieving it now is, that I have a Father who doesn't need to be impressed, to love me. In fact, I can't impress him! Even if I try! No matter my good works, or worldly accomplishments, I do nothing that compares to the greatness of God. He knows it, too - and He accepts me as I am.

"Alright. This is downright weird. Look at you. You're chubby, and bald. You've barely opened those blue eyes, and you're already crying and screaming. You can't do anything - you're just a little ball of blubber. You haven't even spoken yet. But yet - I'd give my life, for you! I'd sacrifice anything, for you! You're . . . You're my son!" The youth pastor spoke those words to his newly born son . . . Looking at the round, innocent face, gurggling and sputtering up at him.

"Babies are useless," Mr. Simons told us kids during one sermon. "But for some reason, I still love my son, even though he hasn't done anything for me. If I feel this way about my him, how much more, does God feel for us?!"

Love is such a strange phenomenon! And yet, love is something God has in abundance.

Isaiah 64:6 says, "... all our righteousness is as filthy rags." No matter what I do, my righteousness is nothing without Christ. It is all counted as loss for the love of our Savior, as Paul says in Phillipians 3:7-8:

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ."

I no longer feel compelled to serve out of fear that I will be rejected - instead, I am now free to serve with a heart of joy! Even when I fail - He loves me. Even when I mess up - he loves me. Even if I don't get 100 on that exam, he still loves me!

This is a truly awesome thing about our God. Salvation is based on grace alone - not by what I do, to earn my way. His love isn't conditioned upon my success . . . Because success is impossible when compared with the His holy standard. He is a truly loving Father! :)

~Lauren Lee

An Idea For Mr. Simons:

Perhaps if he bought the "Baby Mop", his son wouldn't be so "useless" as he says . . . haha!

True Love

Happy Valentines, everyone! This is a day that reflects the spirit of God in such a deep way . . . Often times, we don't stop to ponder his love as we should. Today is the perfect opportunity to do it.

This past winter camp at my church, the youth band sang a song titled, "To Know Your Name." I posted the music video from the original band below. It so accurately describes His love! "He took my place, knowing He'd be crucified . . . he loved a people undeserving."

God's love is . . . too deep for my finite mind to grasp. Why would he love me?

I am so undeserving.

Human nature is always telling us to look for what we can get out of things. Unless we get some satisfaction out of it, our flesh tells us, "you could be doing more pleasurable things . . . skip it." Lauren Lee is inconsequential to God! And yet He loves her. I can do nothing for Him. I bring nothing to the table. But the thing that just blows my mind is that He loves me because He can. He wants to be my Father . . . and He does whatever He pleases (Psalm 115:3). He doesn't love me because He can "get" something from me. In a culture that has been brainwashed with the "do what feels good" montra, we've become accustomed to a selfish type of love. A love that only gives when there's a guarentee of something in return. God, on the other hand, shows us true love.

1 John 3:1 says: "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him." We are children of God! It is an overused term that I think we have become far too accustomed to . . . Ponder it for a moment and it truly will amaze you.

My pastor gave an analogy once of a father who's son was brutally killed. The young man convicted of the murder was wretched, lost, and dangerous . . . But when the father of the victim met the murderer face to face, he takes the hand of the boy . . . and says "I forgive you. Your sins are washed away." He took the young man into his home, and treated him as a family member. He gave him clothes to wear, food to eat, and loved him like his own child.

Take a moment and imagine this happening in real life. If someone dear to you were killed, would you be willing to love the person who killed them? Why would anyone do something like that, for a murderer who has broken all standards of morality?

Lamentations 3:22 says: "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed for his compassions never fail." Though we are the guilty ones, He loves us. He clothes us and feeds us. He has made us one of His children. And He died for us. Even though our sins murdered His son. Wow. Does this not blow your mind?? I cannot comprehend it.

Please, take some time today to meditate on this true love that we are so undeserving of. As you listen to this song, let His love overwhelm your soul. Close your eyes and remember what torture He went through, for us. And even though we killed His son, He is willing to call us his children - His adopted sons. What a loving Father!

~Lauren Lee

"Dear Father . . . I cannot understand your love. Nor your grace. I am undeserving of your mercy, and can give you nothing. Although I don't know why you chose me, I am forever grateful . . . I am overwhelmed, Lord. Never let me forget what I did to your Son - and what You did for me. Amen."

The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems,
forgiven I’m alive, restored set free.
Your majesty resides inside of me,
forever I believe. forever I believe.
arrested by your truth and righteousness
your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness
convicted by your spirit, led by your word
your love will never fail
your love will never fail
‘Cause I know you gave, the world your only son for us to
know your name, to live within the saviours love and he took my place,
knowing he’d be crucified and you loved.. you loved, a people undeserving!

But, But I Don't Like To Cry!

I really don’t. I hardly ever let anyone see me cry. And if there is one thing you will never catch Lauren Lee doing, it is crying in public.

I suppose yesterday was an exception to that rule.

Seated in a Denny’s booth across the table from my father, everything came out . . . Noah’s flood all over again. Now, upon recalling that episode, how terribly embarrassing it was! Although – at the time, I didn’t really care who saw me. I’m afraid that was quite evident; for when the poor waitress came to see if we needed any refills, my attempt at politeness, “NO, thank you” in-between sniffles came out a bit more hostile than intended . . . The unsuspecting soul was quite taken by surprise and scuffled herself back to the kitchen.

It was as if all the weight in the world had just been lowered on my shoulders. Not all at once – but slowly. It was a prolonged torture that finally came to a climax. A slow inflammation of my feelings that eventually led to an outbreak of raw emotion. I hated myself then … For I had sworn to myself many, many times . . . If anyone were to see me cry, my father would be the last man on earth to have that satisfaction. The worst part of it all was that I knew that by crying, my Dad felt some level of control. Control over my emotions. This is a terrible thing to say … a terrible thing to live with. But when he sees his children cry, he doesn’t feel badly . . . he feels powerful. Sitting across that table, he didn’t do anything or say anything to share my feelings, or release me from my obvious misery. His face was cold, a look that had harshness written all over it. When I finally came to my senses, I picked my head up out of my hands and looked at his expression. It was as if I could see right past his flesh into his thoughts . . . His face seemed to read, “What a bother.” This made me cry even more . . . the fact that I couldn’t even cry in front of my own Dad.

Lets go on a rabbit trail for a moment . . .

Aren’t we all guilty of turning the cold shoulder to a person in need? Perhaps not to such an extreme as with my Dad … But Instead of “bearing one another’s burdens” (Galations 6:2) we shrink away from the pain? Empathy is just too … inconvenient. Can’t we just leave it to someone else out there?

No!

It is commanded of us all throughout the Bible that we are to be compassionate to the hurting, and extend helping hands to those who are suffering. Though this situation with my Dad has been extremely painful, it has definitely taught me this, if anything: weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” I believe that God truly has given me these hard times to teach me to cry with other people. To let it out. To weep with them. To understand what they’re going through. I pray so fervently that God might use me in this way … to teach me compassion . . . and show me the lost and hurting, that his light might shine through me. Is this not what Christ did for us? He didn’t have to be tortured! He didn’t HAVE to live a life on earth! But he did – because he wanted to relate to his children, and feel their pain, living in a sinful world.

Off the rabbit trail. ;)

When we left the restaurant, I had an odd sense of peace come over me. Yes – despite the smeared mascara and red nose (the unfortunate by-products) – I wasn’t a total mess. Even though my earthly father didn’t care about my tears . . . I knew I still had a Father that did. Who welcomed me with open arms, saying: “You need a hug.” “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23, one of the most famous in the Bible, put it brilliantly … I had just walked through what seemed like Hell, but despite it all, there was still a “peace that transcends all understanding” Philippians 4:7! What a comfort … that my Father is ALWAYS there, always empathetic, always ready to listen.

Even though it was a tough day, I was finally able to rest in the comfort of my heavenly father. Though I don’t feel like I can “let it out” in front of dad, I know that the Lord, my true Father, is up there saying:

“I am a safe place for your tears . . . come, and I will cry with you.”

Lord, thank you for your compassion. When all else fails, there you are. Thank you for wrapping me in your arms with the intention of keeping me there for eternity … for being the father that I don’t have. Help me to be content in your love! Amen.

~Lauren Lee