Nothing of My Own

Today's post is a little different. There is not so much a desire in my heart to preach to my blog readers but to express my desire to live Christ through my life, on display for a hurting world to see. It is for His glory that I write, so I take this opportunity to simply pray. I hand off the baton to Leslie Ludy to do the teaching . . . her books have so inspired me over the past several years, and I deeply encourage my sisters in Christ to read for themselves and discover the beautiful ministry she and her husband have developed in His name.





I kneel at the foot of your throne feeling completely inadequate to do the things YOU want me to do... I don't have the discipline, I don't have the courage, I want the passion but I can't seem to muster it. I hit roadblock after roadblock but yet it makes me ever more resolute - that You are my Father. You have the discipline, You have the courage, You have the passion. You sustain all things. Where I lack, You gladly fill.
Give me the tools I need to accomplish what it is You would have me do. Dwell in me so that I am continually being molded and shaped by You, so that I am not just Your "creation" in the sense of past-tense, but a work not yet finished. Do with me as you please and I will gladly be formed according to Your will and not my own.
Not in my strength, but yours - take me and make me not a "Lauren" who displays Christ, but Christ displayed through Lauren. Let me live out your power, your resurrection power, in my life. For you have already conquered sin, conquered death, and I have nothing to fear. The battle is won, so why am I still thinking "I'll do better tomorrow God, I promise"? An insult to your name, doubting your very ability to indwell me and overcome -- why? Why do I doubt? I surrender all to you, nothing I have, nothing I am is mine but Yours. I am freed from the bondage sin has kept me in, you have wiped my slate clean, Satan you can no longer hold guilt over my head or tell me I am not enough. Christ is in me -- a part of me -- my very soul, ingrained in my being, forever residing in my heart. Lord you live in me waiting to shine out, why do I block your light with pride and a lack of faith? Radiate through me... Change me in whatever ways, regardless of how painful, or how much I kick and scream ... My desire is to surrender completely.
Live in me, Lord . . . I want nothing of my own. Amen.

This Is Gonna Hurt.

I know you've probably heard a billion other somewhat-christian books out there telling young women that "You're beautiful! Embrace your inner loveliness! Be the person you were created to be!" blah blah blah ect. But let me tell you flat out - that's not what I'm going to reiterate to you. I believe that messages like that are flawed and deceitful.

I'm here to tell you something that might hurt ... It hurt me, at first.
In and of ourselves, we are completely and utterly worthless.
To put it in other words, your ego is not your amigo. :P (Right, Mrs. Montoya??)

Understandably, this message is not very well received in our culture. Us ladies all like to feel like we have purpose, beauty, and uniqueness, deep down inside our lovely little selves. Yes? Yes. Admit it.


Scripture tells us that such a mindset is completely wrong. Without Christ, we are completely devoid of beauty - because He IS beauty. With Christ - yes, we have beauty - but it's not ours.

In fact, if you're a Christian, then everything that's yours is Christs. Ian Thomas puts it this way: "The Christian life can be explained only in terms of Jesus Christ, and if your life as a Christian can still be explained in terms of you - your personality, your will power, your gift, your talent, your money, your courage, your scholarship, your dedication, your sacrifice, or your anything - then although you may have the Christian life, you are not yet living it."

The most beautiful picture of Christ making us girls beautiful is found in Ezekiel 16, where Jerusalem is being described in terms of "her" relationship with her husband, God himself.

"On the day of your birth, your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things to you out of compassion for you, and you were cast out into the open field - for you were abhorred, on that day when you were born."

That's a nicer way of saying, "Aaaand .... as for the day of your birth, well. You were a pretty gross little thing . . ."

"But when I passed by you, and saw you wallowing in your own blood (EW!), I said "Live!" I made you flourish like a plant of the field. . . . I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. And I put a ring on your nose and and earings in your ears and a crown on your head.

". . . So I saw this ugly baby and I was like, hey! The poor thing! I should do something about that. . . so I took it home with me."

... You were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty.

"Growing up, I gave you designer clothes and really yummy food. You had the best of everything. People thought you were royalty because you looked so pretty. uh huh."

And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord God."

.....
I'm not even sure this one needs an interpretation. I'll just say this: Megan Fox, biblical version.

So. Now that we've read that little story, we know that before we knew Christ, we were hopeless.
To those people out there who keep telling you how beautiful you are deep deep inside: Does wallowing in your own blood sound beautiful to you? Maybe our culture's standards of beauty aren't that high, after all. Yuck. The point is that we were born ugly. We were born sinful. Because of our Savior's love, he has raised us up as Princesses in His kingdom, to be true royalty.

I can truly say, I am beautiful. I am beautiful because of how Christ has transformed my ugly heart into something brand new. What security is found, in knowing that! I don't have to be worried about meeting a bunch of physical requirements (although. it is nice to try to look good. :P different topic for a different time . . . ) our culture puts on us.

"It is a tremendous freedom to get rid of all self-consideration and learn to care about only one thing - the relationship between Christ and ourselves." ~Oswald Chambers.

Amen!

It's so nice to know that I'm thought of as "beautiful" by the only one I really care about. Isn't it?!

~Lauren Lee

His Princess

Every little girl wants to be a princess. Years of youth hold the greatest potential for imagination; Carefully she'll place that paper crown on her head, and excitedly she'll wave the cardboard sceptor. Her wish is to to be admired, and delighted in. She longs to captivate those around her, and relish in the affection of those closest to her. She wants to be beautiful, enchanting everyone with her ribbons and curls.

Somehow, our culture has squelched and perverted this innocent desire for beauty. As our little princess grows, she is told that she's no longer accepted as herself, and that now the aid of make-up and revealing clothes are needed to get her the attention she craves. Instead of being satisfied and confident, as she once was, twirling around the kitchen in that tutu, suddenly she finds herself staring in the mirror, wondering "how on earth did I get so many freckles?"

“The Kings daughter is all glorious within; her clothing is interwoven with gold. She will be led to the King in embroidered work; The virgins, her campanions who follow her, will be brought to You.”

Psalm 45:13 – 14

God made us girls to love the beauty in ourselves - not a prideful, arrogant self-love, but rather an enjoyment of that which is lovely and pure. We are daughters of God - daughters of the King of Kings! In truth, we are real life princesses. As such, it is so important that we outwardly display the work He has done inwardly.

Nope, I'm not talking about vanity, here. We don't have to obsess over ourselves, in order to understand our beauty . . . God created woman as a manifestation of His beauty, grace, and charm (something man is simply not - sorry, boys) . . . Our glory should not be in ourselves, but should point to Him. This is why it should be easy to feel comfortable in our own skin . . . All girls are created with absolutely perfect beauty. I'm far from our culture's beauty standard (way too many freckles :P) But I know that I am exactly as my Father would have me . . . that I'm loved and cherished by Him, just the way I am.

When a girl is loved, she will feel secure in herself. When she feels secure in herself, she doesn't need to "improve" her looks, out of vanity, or resort to immodesty. I won't lie - Not having a Dad to compliment, enjoy, and admire me is very difficult at times . . . because that is what my young heart yearns for. God has created me with a desire to be enjoyed. Gratefully, our culture's unrealistic claims for beauty haven't gotten to me too much - So I'm still, at the core, in that tutu stage. I still wish for the admiration of my father . . . and, I will perhaps never have it. But my Father, the King of Kings, can fill that hole. ;)

Last week I did the dress challenge put on by Feelin Feminine, where I had to wear dresses or skirts for 7 days in a row. Mom joked with me, saying that this really wasn't a challenge at all . . . and it's true, normally you will find me in a dress, rather than in jeans. Unfortunately, this morning, thrown off by Daylights Savings Time and far too lazy to put effort into my appearance, I waddled into church wearing pants. My friends were shocked and said, "Wow! Lauren's . . . . Normal! She's actually dressed like a normal person!!" Haha . . . Thanks Heather ;) But usually, dresses are my thing.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to be beautiful. Not necessarily the made-up look our culture has concocted, but sometimes just the freckled young face that's far from model material. He has fearfully and wonderfully made each and every young lady out there - he delights in our beauty, and wants us to, as well. What a thought . . . that I captivate my Father! That I am His princess!

That's enough for me :)

~Lauren Lee