
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Impressing God - Part 2

Friday, February 26, 2010
Impressing God

I no longer feel compelled to serve out of fear that I will be rejected - instead, I am now free to serve with a heart of joy! Even when I fail - He loves me. Even when I mess up - he loves me. Even if I don't get 100 on that exam, he still loves me!
This is a truly awesome thing about our God. Salvation is based on grace alone - not by what I do, to earn my way. His love isn't conditioned upon my success . . . Because success is impossible when compared with the His holy standard. He is a truly loving Father! :)
~Lauren Lee
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Hide and Sneak

Flight attendants, sales personnel and call centre operators are most at risk, say psychologists at Frankfurt University. People in these jobs are more likely to suffer from depression, according to the study released yesterday ahead of publication in consumer magazine Good Advice. "Every time a person is forced to repress his true feelings, there are negative consequences for his health," said Professor Dieter Zapf, a researcher into human emotions.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Be Still, Oh Restless Soul . . .
Today has been a rollercoaster for me. I have experienced two very different emotional extremes, and I am confused, confused, confused. It seems just as something start to get better . . . it falls into a dark abyss once more and I am powerless to stop it’s descent. My soul is restless, my mind is overworked, and all reason seems to have been drained from my noggin.
It’s a terrible feeling.
I attempt to write this at 12:00 midnight, with brains scattered and emotion higher than Kilimanjaro. I write not so that I make any sense (I think all hope for that is long gone), but that there might be some irony demonstrated from this post. The irony being: When all is lost, you’ve still won. When you are experiencing your greatest sorrow, there is greatest capacity for peace.
Lauren has gone crazy!!!
Don’t give up on me yet. ;)
Luke 17:33 says, “Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.” God often speaks to us through the ironies of life. And tonight (or rather, this morning), I feel like all is lost . . . and I am experiencing my greatest sorrow. How can I be able to hold my head up? How can I discover peace?
I can’t.
(Lauren’s really lost it! She’s gone! :P )
I can’t!!!
Only God can.
One of my favorite verses, 1 Corinthians 15:57: “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Sometimes I get so caught up in the little battles of life, that I don’t remember the big picture. In 100 years when I’m with Christ . . . it won’t matter if everything worked out perfectly on earth. What will matter is that Jesus won salvation for us on the cross, and conquered death. Even when I’ve lost here on earth, Christ has still won the battle for me.
Isaiah 26:3 says: You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
A mind stayed on Christ is a peaceful mind. . . a restful mind:
Matthew 11:28 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
How burdened I feel right now . . . and yet, Christ sustains me through it all. In my weakness, He is my strength. Thus, one might find the ironies proven true . . . Even when I feel as though all is lost . . . I still have victory in Christ. Even in my greatest sorrow, He gives my soul more peace than ever I could’ve found on my own.
How great is our God!
I think I shall now attempt sleep once more.
~Lauren Lee
Sunday, February 14, 2010
True Love

forgiven I’m alive, restored set free.
Your majesty resides inside of me,
forever I believe. forever I believe.
arrested by your truth and righteousness
your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness
convicted by your spirit, led by your word
your love will never fail
your love will never fail
‘Cause I know you gave, the world your only son for us to
know your name, to live within the saviours love and he took my place,
knowing he’d be crucified and you loved.. you loved, a people undeserving!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Drops of Blood: The Issue of Fear
Around 2000 years ago a man wept in a garden not far from the place he would soon be murdered. Knowing of his impending torture and death, he sat on his knees in utter agony, crying out to God to preserve him. Human emotions, such as fear, panic, and anxiety swirled around in his mind. Worst of all . . . He knew he didn’t deserve it. Sitting in the garden, the man was afraid. He was fearful. He was trembling. He was terrified.
He even sweated blood.
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” ~Luke 22:42-44
Yes, Jesus Christ himself, was fearful. He was in utter agony, knowing that the time of his death was near. But he also knew the glory awaiting him in heaven. He was God himself, incarnated! And yet, he was experiencing fear and agony.
Was Christ in sin? Was he not “trusting in God” enough? Why was he anxious, since he was the Son of God and Creator of the Universe?
Imagine being a damsel in distress from one of those 1960’s cowboy movies. You’ve been bound hand and foot, and thrown onto the train tracks by the bad guys. As the train comes rushing toward you – what is going through your mind?
“YAY! I am about to die! Yippee!”
I doubt that.
As for myself, I would be extremely fearful. If I had the presence of mind to pray, I would be thinking, “Lord, please . . . Get me out of this!” Would I be wrong to plead with God, in fear? Would I not be trusting Him, like I should?
Lets go back to Christ . . . Matthew 26:10 (MSG version) says:
“Going a little ahead, he fell on his face, praying, “My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?”
God has given us human emotions such as anxiety and fear. In and of themselves, they are not bad things. Without fear, there would be no reason to trust in God. He doesn’t want us skipping along in life, saying “I have Jesus in my heart, rainbows in the sky, and I NEVER have any fear or anger or timidity! Aren’t things jolly??” Fearing earthly dangers draws us closer to our Father because we have no choice but to trust in Him.
Now, there is an unhealthy fear. This fear is one that is stubbornly held on to, and not given to God. It’s an unwillingness to trust in Him. When does fear become a bad thing? When it begins to consume you. As long as fear is felt with the knowledge of God’s sovereignty, it is actually something God approves of, because it draws your heart closer to his. He doesn’t condemn the fearful!
Christ goes on to pray, “not what I want, but what YOU want, Father!” Even in the midst of his despair, as drops of blood were falling from his forehead, he deferred to his Fathers will. Similarly, we should do the same. Even in our fear, we must trust in Him.
As I have had to face my Dad, I have been fearful. The train has been coming at me, and I’ve felt bound on the tracks. But my Heavenly Father is always the cowboy coming to the rescue, just in time. 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us that God doesn’t allow us to suffer temptation more than we can bear. He always shows a way out! God won’t let us wallow in an unhealthy fear . . . He provides himself as an escape. So although that train is coming faster and faster, I have the knowledge that the Christ will save me, and not allow me to be hit by it. I am convinced that the fear I have of my Dad has been given to me by God and is a tool he uses to draw me ever closer to Himself.
~Lauren Lee
The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? (Ps 27.1)
Thanks to Emmery Grotberg for the idea behind this post.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Invisible Hugs
Recently I was reading a paper by 17 year old Amanda Lynn Geesey. She was describing her feelings as the effects of not having a father took it’s toll:
Lord, the pain is too much to bear! I can't take this anymore; I have to get out. I tried to get his attention once before with the anorexia but he did not care then, so why would he care if I was alive or dead. Well, at least the pain will be gone. My heart hurts, there is no one to care, no one to love me. He left without a word, without a tear. He did not call on my birthday. He even misspelled my name on the first Christmas present he ever sent, and there was only one of those. His checks are supposed to buy his love, yet he never even sends them! He probably does not even remember my name, I know he does not know my hair color, eye color, whether or not I am tall or short, fat or skinny. God, I just pray I don't look or act anything like him.
People don't get it! They just make things worse! They criticize me and say "I am not right with God," because I miss my dad, yet in the same sense I hate him. Their lives are not perfect so why do they pick on me? I did not choose my life, but I can choose to end it. They say let God be my "Dad" well, I would like to see them try it. God cannot reach down and give me the hug I so desperately need and tell me that I am loved. My dad never told me that; he never said I was pretty or smart. He always wants to blame me for any "bad" thing that happens in his life though.
… When I try to reach out all I receive is rejection, so let's get it over with! I don't care about them or my dad, I hate him! Where is God now? Even God has rejected me and forgotten even about my existence.
Wow. Although I cannot relate in full to the extent of her situation, being fatherless myself I understand where she’s coming from. This was exactly what I was going through during the first couple months after he moved out. All of my friends were telling me, “I’m praying for you . . . Lauren just trust in God!” Like it was SO easy! My feelings echoed hers exactly . . . God can’t physically sit beside me and wrap his arms around me. He can’t comfort me!

I was right. He couldn’t comfort me in the way I felt like I needed to be comforted. But He eventually showed me that He could do it so much better than that. Amanda went on to say:
Until recently this is exactly how I felt. I still struggle with feelings of abandonment, hurt and distrust of men. God has proven Himself faithful though and has showed me that He is loving, forgiving, caring and that not only am I in the palm of His hand but my name is willingly engraved on the palm of His hand that I will never be forgotten.
Her testimony, going from thinking that God abandon her to coming to the point of trusting Him and putting her life in the palm of His hand, truly ministered to me. It is such a beautiful encouragement.
One day, I will be able to sit in the physical presence of my heavenly Father. What a day that will be! For now, I can only look forward to that time. It is that hope which sustains me. One of my favorite movies of all time is “a Walk to Remember.” In it, Jamie, a modest, Christian girl, defines faith in one of the best ways I’ve heard it put. “It’s like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.” Until that day when I enter into the Lords court, I won’t be able to see Him. But nothing hinders the feeling of his love.
~Lauren Lee
"The Lord is near to those that have a broken heart, and he saves those who have a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34:18)
Amanda Geesey's Paper "The Importance of Fathers in the Home" http://www.cpyu.org/Page.aspx?id=77180
Or. Of course. If you STILL think you need to FEEL a hug (to lighten the mood a little).
Thanks To Carlotta's blog for this! :D VERY funny. Made me laugh.

