The Hidden Among Us

I wonder what it would be like, if people literally wore their hearts on their sleeves. If you could tell what a person was feeling, just by looking at them - if you could read their struggles like you read a book. Wouldn't that be something? To be able to see past the fake, pointless smiles, and know the truth about what people are really thinking.

Unfortunately, that's impossible. Depression is often hidden behind a smile, and sadness is bountiful where there seems to be happiness. Unless we're ultra super-sensitive to the sorrows of our fellow man, we can't just look at a person and know their life story.

Everyone wears a mask. Everyone wants to appear like they're doing OK - even when they're not, and they're actually really struggling. That's why, today, I want to just write this little post to remind you that there are sufferers in your presence.

They are the Hidden amongst us, the ones who seem to be handling everything fine. They are the secret grievers, the invisible mourners. Their physique proclaims to their family and friends that all is well - while the "inner man", as Plato once called the soul - is drowning and overwhelmed.

The lesson is: Don't ever assume that the person you're talking to, the person you're mad at, or the person you passed by at the mall is OK. The smallest rudeness on your part could wound them more than you know.

Be kind to everyone - because you never know who's fighting a battle for their lives.

You might just be crossing paths with one of the Hidden.

My Post Is Better Than Yours

I happened upon my blogger dashboard the other day and became depressed. Why? Because this little blog called "Daughters of His Love" has apparently gone cold and unwelcoming, with signs of abandonment. I'm convinced that no good blog should have to undergo a stagnant state for as long as my good blog has, thus, I will mimic my dear friend Caro over at "Pasta and Waffles" and make this my new years resolution, if you will: Blog.

Writing this, even now, makes me happy. It's my little place to ponder, and deduce. It's my place to write freely about struggles, circumstances, and miracles. A lot has happened since my last post, and I think it's a good thing that I take the time to write about it. It helps me think it all out, and to come to some conclusion.

Here is my most recent mountain to climb: Competition.

I do competitive debate. There's a thrill in convincing an audience, of arguing a point, and defending a position (even if you don't agree with it). It's my favorite thing to do in all the world, and I'll speak in front of a crowd any day. I love it. I love that I could hone crucial skills while doing what I love most: speaking to influence a change in heart and mind.

I'll tell you a secret of mine...

I'm not competitive. At all. In my personal life, I don't think I have the capacity. I hate arguing with others, and I'd rather just avoid difficult situations than confront them. If you want to fight, you'll see me resign quickly from your company - I don't like going back and forth about things that won't really matter in a few years, anyways.

This mindset, for me, translates into the debate round. It's not about slaughtering the other team. I can beat them in words, sure, but will I win the heart of the audience? Probably not. I don't want to be a debater, I want to be a performer. I'm not here to debate . . . I'm here to win your heart.

This isn't as easy as it sounds. In an atmosphere that heavily promotes competition, the debate realm tends to promote personal irresponsibility with words. The louder you are, the better... and saying things that really are worthless end up being praised. Arguing for arguments sake, in other words. Plato once said, "a wise man speaks because he has something to say; a fool, because he has to say something." So here is another New Years Resolution: I won't be competitive. Yes, I'll definitely try to win - but only in a debate round. Winning does not mean being competitive.

Scripture makes it clear that careless words, even in jest, must be accounted for.
As Christ said, "...men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." (Matthew 12:36-38)

Isn't that enough to make us watch our tongues?

At the root of being "competitive" is the desire to be better than our fellow man. Not only that - but to let the other man know that you are better than him! ;)

Galatians 5:25-26
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Proverbs 16:18-19
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.

Proverbs 26:12
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs 27:2
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.

2 Corinthians 11:30
If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

This is my New Years Resolution, to remain joyful in humility. It's an uphill battle, especially in the "debate atmosphere" I so often find myself in. But I am encouraged, knowing that in Christ himself, the one who was born into poverty, suffered, died, and was hardly the competitive type.

I am happy to walk in his footsteps, instead of trying to be the best.

P.S. My post is better than yours. ;)

Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs. --Pearl Strachan

Speech is the mirror of the soul; as a man speaks, so he is. --Publilius Syrus

Words are plentiful; deeds are precious.-- Lech Walesa

Slingshots and Other Such Nonsense

Not having a Dad messes you up more than you know. For me, the reality of everything never really set in until this year. I was hurt, but now the definition of "pain" has taken on a whole new meaning. It's no longer just the aching sense of abandonment felt within, but a controlling impetus that threatens to effect nearly every area of my life. Christians are so great at saying "I'll pray for you" or "give it to God." But many of them don't know how hard it is to hear those words. Because many of them really don't understand the pain.

My way of dealing with things is shoving them on the back-burner until I have the time and energy to deal with it. In my own little sphere, I figure that I can take charge of the situation on my own time, when I feel comfortable and ready. Unfortunately, that's not always what happens. I end up pushing it away so much that it comes back with vengeance. The mental picture I have in my head is one of a sling shot - the further you pull it back, the more force it will use when propelling a whole new set of life circumstances headed straight at the target. The target being, quite often, emotions and feelings that I thought I could control.

I suppose my new challenge for myself is dealing with the blows as they come, instead of letting them all build up inside of me. Instead of carrying the weight of a million different things, as Pilgrim did in Pilgrim's progress, I should be laying them down at the foot of the cross each time... So that I'm only carrying 5 pounds instead of the 500 ton load I chose to ignore. Christ is open and ready to receive my hurt . . . I just have to trust Him.

To all you young ladies out there who can't trust. . . I understand. I know what it's like to have virtually every man in your life - Dad, friends, mentors. . . walk out on you, time and time again. Know that it's OK to have a breakdown every once in a while . . . and that God will put your heart back together, time and time again. He is faithful, even when fathers are not. He is faithful, even when best friends are not. He will never change, like so many people in life do.

He is steadfast . . . While so many people are not. Give your heart and trust to Him - and know that He will bring people into your life someday who will care more about you than they do themselves. I see the Lord doing that in my own life, and I trust Him completely to continue the work He has started.

Pardon my rant. I suppose I've been a bit non-sensical at times, but hey, this is my blog, and I reserve the right to not make any sense. ;) I guess the point I'm trying to make is: Go have a breakdown. It's good for you. And then begin laying your burden down at the cross every time something happens, or you feel down. Every single time. Even if that means you're at the foot of the cross on an hourly basis. Don't let the burdens pile up. Christ is the definition of peace and rest.

Unconventionality? Check.

"So, which religion are you?" They looked at me.

Uh oh.

Not this question. No, please, not this question.

Every non-believer I've ever met has this among other reasons for rejecting my belief when I say "I'm a Christian":

"I'm just not a religious person. I don't feel like I need to follow all your 'rules'".

Then, they typically make some negative allusion to home-school skirts and 18-passenger vans (of which I have neither, which makes the remark all the more humorous). I often giggle in response - which is just awful - never laugh at an agnostic, that probably isn't the best way to convert them - but I can't help it. There are so many cliche stereotypes that Christians must forgo. It's as if we're expected to sit there and submit to the conventional image.

I was once at a friends house, who didn't know the Lord. A few of our other friends were there, and they started talking about their New Age ideas of spirituality.

It was then that they turned to me, who had been sitting quiet at the opposite end of the table (quite intentionally). I knew the answer to their question. And, if I had done what I have done a million times before, I would've answered "Christian. I'm a Christian." But I knew that wouldn't go over well. I wanted to influence these people, not turn them away.

"Well? Are you religious?"

"Nope."

....There was a silence.

"Seriously? You don't believe in God? The Universe? Anything?"

"Oh, yeah, I believe in God. And Jesus. But I'm not religious."

This completely confused them. "Jesus" and "Religion" were like ... inseparable! Two peas in a pod, siamese twins, a snake with two heads!

"You believe in Jesus?"

"Yeah."

"Like... That he's God?"

"Yeah."

....another silence. They knew something was fishy, here.

".....Why?"

Bingo. I now had a chance to explain my 5 reasons for believing why Christ is in fact who he said he was, without even referring to scripture. So far: Hadn't even mentioned the word "Christian."
After I was done explaining, my friends were obviously intrigued. They liked this idea. Love Jesus, and don't be religious.

What a thought!

"That's kinda cool. And different" one of my friends said.

"Yep." I smiled. :) In reality, I'm just another Christian. But I'm a Christian without the conventional image of "judgemental religious pew-sitter."

Unfortunately, right when I thought I got off the hook, another one of my friends connected the dots.

"Doesn't that make you a ... LIKE... a Christian?"

But, by this time, I could say "yes" without turning them off to my reasons for why I was a Christian - I had already given my reasons. I had made my case for Christ. I had told them why I believed in the historical and scientific evidence that Jesus of Nazareth was divine.

"I guess you could call me that, if you wanted."

The conversation went on. And my friends are now curious about what it is I truly believe. Still to this day, those same people are asking. And sometimes, that's all it takes for Christ to draw another one of His children to Himself.

Scripture tells us to be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves. This completely pertains to the way we evangelize. Know the enemy - and know how to defeat him. Know how to stand up against the Devil's stereotypes of Christians. Street corner evangelism is great. Passing out tracks is great. But I've found that being real, and being intriguing, is the most effective.

Just a thought for you to munch on today. :)

My love to all of you . . .

The Washington Project

Hey everyone!

Today's post is a little bit different. I'm here to promote a different blog! :) I've started up a grassroots movement called "The Washington Project". It's essentially devoted to removing the influence of pop-culture in the lives of 21st century teen leaders. Now I know, it's impossible to remove the influence completely. I mean, we live in the midst of it. But at the very least, we should be able to sort through it and throw out the junk.

I see so many lovely young Christian ladies who are led astray by the lustful things they see on Hollywood's big screen, or the latest gossip in celebrity magazines. While it's sometimes unavoidable to be exposed to the sin of this world, it's important that we have a lens to view it all through.

I've opened up several internship positions for The Washington Project, and already have several competent young writers and marketers from all over the WORLD working with us. If you're interested, just go to "Contact" on the site, and shoot us a note. We'd be happy to have you on staff (might I add - it's a fantastic resume builder).

Together we can actually, truly do something to encourage teens like ourselves to change their mindsets. I hope you join me and get involved!

Make sure to check it out/follow it! Go here: http://www.the-washington-project.com/

How to Eat an Elephant

Believe it or not, dear readers . . . I am an old person. My college application process begins, well, now. It's hard to believe that this is my last year as a home-schooler. As I fondly look through all the years of utter devotion on the part of my Mother, I remember countless laughs, science experiments gone wrong, "field trips" to Riley's Farms, the time I wrapped up my sister in toilet paper because I was learning about the Egyptian Mummies . . .
It's sad to think it's almost over.

Before me stands a new challenge. College.

I know that many of my sisters-in-Christ have chosen not to take that path, they prefer to nurture their home-skills and learn through online classes through their college years. There are numerous reasons I chose to physically attend a 4-year-university, and one of these days I will devote a post specifically to the purpose of explaining why. But for now: It's my conviction that the Lord is growing and moving me from the mission field of "home", though I will always, always feel a place here to be His servant.

Please be praying for me during this time! It is intimidating and quite frankly, overwhelming. I'm applying to over 20 colleges, and thus find myself buried in essays and SAT prep. But I am so grateful for the opportunity, and am devoted to putting my all into it. While it may seem like an impossible feat, I'll get it done.

How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time. ;)

(He doesn't look very happy about that.)

Everything, if we let it, can seem overwhelming. But if we take consistent steps, even if they're just baby steps, we can reach our goals. It's not in the things we choose to do - it's our persistence in doing it. It's running the race.

With that, I put on my running shoes, and will be extremely busy for the next three months. However, I hope to still find plenty of time to find refuge and rest in this blog, in the company of my dear sisters who keep me strong and motivated, and of course in Him who is the source of all strength.

Girls Can Be Mean

I always like reading goofy stories from the satire magazine, "The Onion." They have the wackiest posts! My all time favorite was one about Al Gore sending his son to mars because of global warming. But this one is pretty good, too:

GLENDALE, CA—Expressing a desire to "slow things down and keep it casual," Troy Lanier, 28, said Monday that his friendship with Scott Perotta, 27, is moving way too fast. "[Scott]'s a nice enough guy, but I've only known him for, like, five weeks, and he already acts like we're best friends," said Lanier, a Glendale-area insurance adjuster. "I wish I had stronger feelings for him, but I don't. I just don't know where I want this friendship to go, and I need the space to figure it all out."

Seen as a potentially good match based on their shared love of martial-arts films, Lanier and Perotta were introduced by a mutual friend in early January.

Lanier said he has been reluctant to give Perotta his e-mail address, fearing it will only accelerate the friendship."I just know he'd be e-mailing me every day," Lanier said. "He's always talking about these funny things he sees on the Internet. I've been thinking about setting up a special Yahoo! account and giving him that address with the caveat that I only check it once in a while, but that seems like an awful lot of effort to deal with someone I barely know."

Lanier has also taken exception to Perotta's habit of referring to him by nicknames. "He's always calling me things like 'Laney' or 'Troy-Boy,'" Lanier said. "My old high-school friends and I have nicknames for each other, but that's different. Until we've known each other a while, I'd prefer to be called Troy—or, at worst, Lanier."

Dr. Karen Franks, a Cornell University sociologist, said Lanier's predicament is not unusual. "People make friends at different speeds," Franks said. "The key is to be honest and firm with people who try to take things too fast. Troy and Scott may end up being best friends someday, but until then, they should proceed at a rate comfortable for them both. If they don't, things will burn out, leaving one of them spending months awkwardly trying to get back his Jet Li DVDs."

What's so hilarious about this post is that . . . it's true. Sometimes, we're way too quick to label someone as our "Best Friend." The result is depressing . . . Hurt feelings and burn-out. To quote my Mom, "you really can't know someone, truly, until you've known them for a long time." It's completely true.

A lot of "friends" are quick to reveal their true selves at the first appearance of hardship or change. Wait - but he/she was my best friend! How could they do this to me? ....You probably didn't know them. The problem is that we naturally have high expectations for people. We expect them to stick around, we expect them to have our back. And then . . . They don't??

I've made this mistake so many times! My Mom is so wise, and we had the best conversation just the other day. She told me to consider it seriously before investing emotionally in a friendship, or calling someone my "best friend." Diving in headfirst can lead to a lot of hurt. The fact has always been that girls can be mean . . . It really stinks, especially when you think they were there for you.

Lesson of the day: Save yourself the pain of let-down expectations. Don't just go around calling friends you're still getting to know your "best friends." Get to know them, first! :)

~Lauren Lee Fischer