Nothing of My Own

Today's post is a little different. There is not so much a desire in my heart to preach to my blog readers but to express my desire to live Christ through my life, on display for a hurting world to see. It is for His glory that I write, so I take this opportunity to simply pray. I hand off the baton to Leslie Ludy to do the teaching . . . her books have so inspired me over the past several years, and I deeply encourage my sisters in Christ to read for themselves and discover the beautiful ministry she and her husband have developed in His name.





I kneel at the foot of your throne feeling completely inadequate to do the things YOU want me to do... I don't have the discipline, I don't have the courage, I want the passion but I can't seem to muster it. I hit roadblock after roadblock but yet it makes me ever more resolute - that You are my Father. You have the discipline, You have the courage, You have the passion. You sustain all things. Where I lack, You gladly fill.
Give me the tools I need to accomplish what it is You would have me do. Dwell in me so that I am continually being molded and shaped by You, so that I am not just Your "creation" in the sense of past-tense, but a work not yet finished. Do with me as you please and I will gladly be formed according to Your will and not my own.
Not in my strength, but yours - take me and make me not a "Lauren" who displays Christ, but Christ displayed through Lauren. Let me live out your power, your resurrection power, in my life. For you have already conquered sin, conquered death, and I have nothing to fear. The battle is won, so why am I still thinking "I'll do better tomorrow God, I promise"? An insult to your name, doubting your very ability to indwell me and overcome -- why? Why do I doubt? I surrender all to you, nothing I have, nothing I am is mine but Yours. I am freed from the bondage sin has kept me in, you have wiped my slate clean, Satan you can no longer hold guilt over my head or tell me I am not enough. Christ is in me -- a part of me -- my very soul, ingrained in my being, forever residing in my heart. Lord you live in me waiting to shine out, why do I block your light with pride and a lack of faith? Radiate through me... Change me in whatever ways, regardless of how painful, or how much I kick and scream ... My desire is to surrender completely.
Live in me, Lord . . . I want nothing of my own. Amen.