Have you ever felt like you're walking a thin line? Like if you look down, you might tumble to your death? I have. Not in the physical sense where my very life hangs in the balance, but an emotional despair that seems to threaten at every moment to pull me down. If I don't keep looking up -- every minute, every moment -- the prospects of a sudden fall seem to multiply out of control. Just keep looking forward, Lauren . . .
In a way, having to keep this level of focus is kind of annoying, even if it is necessary. I see friends who live their insouciant lives enjoying a sort of loosey-goosey existence that I often envy. You know, it's true when "they" say that life isn't fair. It isn't. Some people have beautifully unruffled vivacity. They can dabble in all sorts of play, while keeping their lives in perfect order.
I am not one of those people.
I have to stay focused at every moment, because life is a constant storm. It's as if I'm walking a tightrope . . . doing all I can to stay balanced. This past week, I had to do just that. Once again, walking on a thin line, every little thing was about to push me off. I kept my eyes up -- remembered Peter, prayed for strength, and got through it.
Peter is one of my heros. He was a sinful, selfish person. He was often so self-consumed, that he missed the big picture.
I like him a lot.
We're very much alike.
We both doubt. We both struggle. We both fall.
But here's something that gives me hope: Peter was Christ's best friend, even though he lived on a constant tightrope -- in a constant state of emotional variance and mistrust. One story in particular, has ministered to me ever so much these past few days . . . So I thought I'd share it. :)
Matthew 14:25-31
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
Peter had focus problems. He had to keep his eye on the goal, at all times. His goal was Christ - yet the winds distracted him, and he quickly begin to slip. Whatever your goal is in life, stick with it. When you feel yourself falling, look up. Countless times, I had to do that this week. I know it's not easy! But you will reach a place of faith! You will feel Christ's blessings.
Last week I was at a debate camp (go ahead, point and call me a nerd). Wow, it was hard. Not the debating, but something that had just been weighing me down the whole week. During one of the practice debates, I literally was on the verge of tears, thinking about something that had been on my mind for a while. Let me tell you... the presence of the Lord is so strongly felt, when you keep your eyes up. As I sat there, thinking to myself, "crap! I can't cry in the middle of a debate round!" I remembered Peter. I felt peace, as if the very arms of Christ were lifting me from the waves and setting me on safe ground. At that moment, I never felt quite so loved.
Be encouraged, brothers and sisters. Christ offers to rescue you every time you feel yourself falling. Keep your head up. :)
~His Daughter
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